tag:dreamwidth.org,2013-05-12:2014669 (are we there yet?) kokopelle 2017-03-29T17:45:23Z tag:dreamwidth.org,2013-05-12:2014669:721057 2017-03-29T17:45:23Z 2017-03-29T17:45:23Z contemplative public 0 “Dysmorphic” is a poetic examination of how I feel about my body. A webpage I found says this of dysmorphia, “Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or BDD, is a disorder in which your perception of your body does not align with reality. People with BDD are caught up in a cycle of obsessive thoughts about one or more parts of their body which they believe to be noticeably flawed--the word "dysmorphia" itself means "malformation.". This is distinct from gender dysphoria, which is characterized by “...sense of restlessness, anxiety, dissonance, or distress, and is the linguistic opposite of a sense of euphoria. Trans people experience this sense of distress when they contemplate the difference between the reality of their body, and the way they believe their body should be in order to align with their sense of self”.<br /><br /><br />Dysmorphic<br /><br />Dysmorphic is my worldly view<br />malformation thought to be true<br />in three dimension I am trapped<br />wishing I were not myself<br />this earthly vessel in which I reside<br />is now my prison I'll not abide<br />with self loathing I'll admit<br />God played a joke to put me here.<br /><br />Convicting words heard by the self<br />not what the world has to say<br />I'm much more harsh, this I know<br />it does little good to my soul<br />mercy's given by other eyes<br />but not my own in judgment’s ire<br />to damn the whole to spite the small<br />this is my lot as I reproach.<br /><br />Grotesqueness put upon the world<br />I think I'm to blame for wickedness<br />far too much credit taken here<br />I wish my mind could be convinced<br />with too much there or not enough<br />form misshapen by nature's hoof<br />the brain decries the discord there<br />waiting for the world to withdraw.<br /><br />I'd hide if I could run away<br />though this I do from mirror's face<br />never the two shall confront<br />myself and my reflected fiend<br />denial is my greatest tool<br />avoided glass with image dual<br />I think therefore I am<br />still I'll ignore my unwanted corpse.<br /><br />I'll take care the best I can<br />this flawed vessel of a man<br />it's the only show in town<br />unless I leave, put it down<br />purgatory may be my place<br />while I live upon this plane<br />so I'll accept with gritted teeth<br />this humor God’s bequeathed.<br /><br />© 2017, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20170329.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=kokopelle&ditemid=721057" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments