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  <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2013-05-12:2014669</id>
  <title>Journey to Ixtlan</title>
  <subtitle>(are we there yet?)</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>kokopelle</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2014-09-08T01:51:38Z</updated>
  <dw:journal username="kokopelle" type="personal"/>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2013-05-12:2014669:451119</id>
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    <title>Panic Attack</title>
    <published>2014-09-08T01:51:38Z</published>
    <updated>2014-09-08T01:51:38Z</updated>
    <category term="panic attack"/>
    <category term="fear"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>3</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">This past weekend I got to experience something new.  I had a full blown panic attack that led me to cancel out of a weekend event.  I'm used to low level anxiety, but this was different.  Why?  Whenever I thought about attending the event I got the answer “no no no”.  The kinda good news is that the intuitive answer was also no, but the emotions were so strong that I have to take the intuitive with a grain of salt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Going forward is not easy.  It is as if I am feeling aftershocks of the anxiety attack.  Combined with something else in my life, the impact of the weekend is leaving me feeling drained.  Creativity is sapped.  There is a secondary fear.  I gave my aplogies to group and told them that I could not attend.  I left the impression that something was going on other than my emotional reaction to the group.  I hope this plays out in this manner... cause, I don't want to back away from the group as a whole.  Hopefully time will heal this.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=kokopelle&amp;ditemid=451119" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
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