https://kokopelle.dreamwidth.org/ Journey to Ixtlan - Dreamwidth Studios Mon, 08 Sep 2014 01:51:38 GMT LiveJournal / Dreamwidth Studios kokopelle personal https://v2.dreamwidth.org/6164738/2014669 https://kokopelle.dreamwidth.org/ 100 94 https://kokopelle.dreamwidth.org/451119.html Mon, 08 Sep 2014 01:51:38 GMT https://kokopelle.dreamwidth.org/451119.html This past weekend I got to experience something new. I had a full blown panic attack that led me to cancel out of a weekend event. I'm used to low level anxiety, but this was different. Why? Whenever I thought about attending the event I got the answer “no no no”. The kinda good news is that the intuitive answer was also no, but the emotions were so strong that I have to take the intuitive with a grain of salt.<br /><br />Going forward is not easy. It is as if I am feeling aftershocks of the anxiety attack. Combined with something else in my life, the impact of the weekend is leaving me feeling drained. Creativity is sapped. There is a secondary fear. I gave my aplogies to group and told them that I could not attend. I left the impression that something was going on other than my emotional reaction to the group. I hope this plays out in this manner... cause, I don't want to back away from the group as a whole. Hopefully time will heal this.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=kokopelle&ditemid=451119" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments https://kokopelle.dreamwidth.org/451119.html fear panic attack public 3