I like your example of loving the neighbor, but not TOO much. I am reminded of the line from the movie "Cats and Dogs" where the person says, "it is OK to love your dog, but don't LOVE your dog." I do have to acknowledge that I am not using the world 'empathy' in a traditional meaning. I suppose my context is instead one of 'recognized connection with others' without the very strong traditional emotional linkage.
Empathy is mixed with self-interest and a pinch of dispassion in some perfect combination. I remember a story I heard once about a person who was being sucked under by quicksand. Another person found them and had to decide what to do. They had multiple choices. Each choice shows a different level of (dis)connection with the sinking person. While all are valid, most will end with the quicksand enveloped person dying.
1) Walk away from the scene. Either the danger is not recognized, the sinking person is not important enough to save, or there are better things to do. 2) Throw a rock to the person. Make them sink faster because they don't deserve to live. They are an enemy or perhaps it is just fun to watch people die in quicksand. 3) Call for help, hoping it arrives on time. Don't do anything to directly help the sinking person. 4) Run around the bank, bemoaning the sinking person's fate. Meanwhile the trapped person slides to their doom. 5) Jump into the quicksand with the sinking person to show that they are not alone in their plight. Everyone dies. 6) With regard for personal safety and a cool head, throw a vine or stick to the sinking person so they can extract themselves.
The “healthy” reaction is to recognize that it sucks to die in quicksand and attempt a rescue that is lifesaving for both you and the person in danger. Empathy recognizes the danger and self-interest keeps one safe.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-07-05 01:05 am (UTC)Empathy is mixed with self-interest and a pinch of dispassion in some perfect combination. I remember a story I heard once about a person who was being sucked under by quicksand. Another person found them and had to decide what to do. They had multiple choices. Each choice shows a different level of (dis)connection with the sinking person. While all are valid, most will end with the quicksand enveloped person dying.
1) Walk away from the scene. Either the danger is not recognized, the sinking person is not important enough to save, or there are better things to do.
2) Throw a rock to the person. Make them sink faster because they don't deserve to live. They are an enemy or perhaps it is just fun to watch people die in quicksand.
3) Call for help, hoping it arrives on time. Don't do anything to directly help the sinking person.
4) Run around the bank, bemoaning the sinking person's fate. Meanwhile the trapped person slides to their doom.
5) Jump into the quicksand with the sinking person to show that they are not alone in their plight. Everyone dies.
6) With regard for personal safety and a cool head, throw a vine or stick to the sinking person so they can extract themselves.
The “healthy” reaction is to recognize that it sucks to die in quicksand and attempt a rescue that is lifesaving for both you and the person in danger. Empathy recognizes the danger and self-interest keeps one safe.