Troubled Thoughts

[kokopelle]

This is an old topic for me, but I'd like to share where some of my thoughts are. I've written a lot about indigenous appropriation because it is a topic that directly affects how I live my spiritual life. I very much believe in the shamanic path and through that paradigm I relate to my world as a wonderful whole. The thing at issue are the tools and methods that I feel are appropriate for use.

There are those of American indigenous beliefs that warn all non-tribal people away from those beliefs and practices that are valued by the tribe. Outsiders are accused of corruption at the least and outright thievery at the worst. Even those associated with the tribes are accused of being traitors and turncoats by sharing knowledge that the protectors of the faith hold to be sacred unto themselves. Last year I found myself in this accusatory environment when I indirectly encountered the words and writings of the tribal guardians.

I am now tempted to turn away from the shamanic practices of the United States. This decision is strong in me, but I also feel that there is a vein of irrational thought running through the logic. This is the story of my life. In theory I would walk away because sincere and honest protectors of indigenous beliefs are presenting their views and asking me to step back. Why step back? I have a love of teaching, though this is not evident in my hermiting times now. I would be drawn to share if I were to embrace any part of the American shamanic practices. To share is the greatest sin in the eyes of those who charge others with appropriation. Do I honor these people by stepping into the shadows?

Here is where I find my logic to be flawed, though I still have a hard time convincing myself of these points. My leaving the active shamanic path will not be recognized by any of the critics. They will not send me a thank-you note for my actions. I will not be an example to those who are truly charlatans and frauds in the shamanic world. They will continue their ways. I will only end up hurting myself. Here is an analogy for the situation. It is as if there is a shallow pond being trampled in by outsiders. Those who rely on the pond are hurt as the mud creates a foul mix that serves none. They ask the outsiders to stop their actions and please leave their pond so it will settle into usefulness. I am in the next town over and hear the cries of those being hurt. I heed the cries and step out of my wading pool, full of water just like the small pond in the next town. I close the yard and shoo away any that would like to partake my wading pool. It is water isn't it, and the pleas of those being hurt asked everyone to step back from the water? Sadly, I am being quite silly. The condition of my wading pool, even thought it too contains water, has no affect on those attempting to use the pond in the next town. They don't know I exist. The interlopers in the other pond don't care a twit about what I'm doing or not doing. I end up crucifying myself and cut myself off from those who might enjoy a bit of relief in a mere wading pool.

This analogy makes sense, but I cannot fully embrace it. I think this is because the entire appropriation matter has taken on the stink of a toxic battle. I want no part of that. I would rather leave than expose myself to the hatred and defensiveness that sincere people are expressing as they talk at each other. I am sickened when indigenous people who chose to share are defamed as traitors, liars, cheats and out-right monsters. My own indigenous teacher faces this in his own tribe to some degree.

Humanity disappoints me and I end up disappointing myself by my own reaction...

Comments

[stargazercmc.livejournal.com]

Do let me know if I'm treading on some ground where I should be scampering elsewhere, but I have to ask. Why is it that you're letting people who are acting proprietary of your beliefs control whether or not you're "allowed" to follow them?

That makes no sense to me. Your beliefs for worship are no one else's business unless you choose to make them that way. I guess what I'm asking are two things: a) why are you letting other people tell you what you're allowed to believe, and b) what business are your beliefs of theirs in the first place?

I don't know much about shamanism at all, but it seems a bit hinky to me that you can only believe the beliefs if someone else tells you it's okay or if you were born into a cultural legacy of it. That smacks an awful lot of snobbery and elitism. Now, if you were going about it in a way that was disrespectful to the worship and practice, that's an entirely different thing.

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...well, my ways for a while were an appropriation of sorts, but as I weaved through all the things I read and got back to what I've always believed as a child (which was gotten through a 'soul retrieval' of all things), I realized that what I believe now isn't so far removed from what I used to believe. I've thrown out things that were sheer appropriation, while keeping the things that were of myself. Sometimes the things I read hit a nerve, and thus became a part of my own practices.

I, too, sometimes have the internal conflict that you are having right now.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Those are good questions. I'll admit my reaction makes little sense, but I'll share some motivations behind it. I truly respect the American Native American spiritual system. I believe that those who fully embrace this system live their lives in a holy way. Every part of their life is spiritual in contrast to those who are 'spiritual' one hour every Sunday. I am inclined to react when these indigenous people say "stop". I think the non-native does need to change their ways if the outspoken indigenous critics are right, even if their talk smacks of snobbery and elitism.

Here is the rub. Can any human be 100% honorable? Where is the place for fear and pride? How much of this is unilateral, one-size-fits-all political talk? I don't know. I wish I could speak to one of the appropriation critics face-to-face to learn more instead of hearing the messages meant for general consumption.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

This too may be my path. I suspect that I'll be dropping a lot of the objects and terms while I reinvent my core beliefs. There is more to my struggle, personal emotional reactions that are less than noble, but heck, I have a right to be human too.

[r-monoxide.livejournal.com]

I've really gone back and forth on this issue myself. In the end it is best to follow the lead of the NA people you trust. There are some tribes and some traditions that are fiercely guarded where outsiders of any color should not attempt to get at. There are traditions and tribes and teachers that welcome sharing with sincere seekers. I was invited out to a sweat lodge that is shared by local tribes and integrated groups. If all NA people had the same opinion and belief system then they would all be prohibiting outsiders from practicing their religions. If you are sincere and have a real interest in the culture and community I'm sure you'll be able to find a group or teacher to work with. You might also want to look into anti-racist activism and NA rights activism if you haven't already.

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

Of course your reaction is not completely noble. When somebody offends something we believe in (or we think we believe in) so vehemently, it's very hurtful.

I wish you the best in your endeavor.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I have always thought of you as a wise shamanist, and would be sad if you stopped being a shamanist or turned away from it. *hugs*

I would say that... some of the 'we hate anything that isn't Native practicioners of this' folk go WAY too far. There's a difference between asserting a right to the knowledge of something, and putting down anyone who approaches their wisdom with respect.

What the hell is the point of having wisdom, if you refuse to share it to genuine, bona fide, GOOD people? What is the point of being a custodian of any sort of folklore, if your own Indigenous people are dying out, and you refuse to share those healthy metaphors and teachings with others? That is a type of cultural selfishness, and one bred out of the 'some people stole from us, so now NO ONE CAN HAVE IT,' mentality.

And it's a sad world indeed if this is the mentality that comes about from theft.

Not all Indigenous cultures are like this, and even not all people within those Indigenous cultures are like this.

Hang in there, ask yourself if it is right to walk away from something that has given you growth, ask yourself if it is right to listen to the people who would hold that growth away from anyone who is not a secretive, full-blooded Indigenous person.

People find it difficult to criticise the Indigenous because we have done them - collectively - many tragic wrongs. But in this, criticism is necessary, imho. It is not right, it does not promote growth, and it disrespects the spirits, to hold knowledge close to the chest and never ever share. It does not undo the wrongs that have been committed, and perpetuates further wrongs in the future.

[r-monoxide.livejournal.com]

Also I recommend the mist filled path by frank maceowen. He actually went through the sun dance ceremony and in the end learned to honor his own ancestors and find his own ancestral traditions. It might be useful to see how he did it if you are thinking about leaving shamanism altogether.

[anchasta.livejournal.com]

With the Native Americans that I have spoken with about this subject (broached around the fire before they invited us into sweat with them), the consensus of the folks there (Lakota tradition) were that if the heart is pure, that is what matters. If you are doing things with no regard for the culture that it grew from, if you are collecting payment for such things, and if you are using their names, their prayers, their words - that you learn those things directly from them.

There are certainly others who disagree - but what to do? I have faced this with the Santerian community. Because I acknowledge and work with the Orisha, but do not have an Ile (community/coven/family) with which to work, and I am not formally taught, I face condemnation from many. However, when your Spirits sit next to me and say "BOO," I will say "Boo" right on back. And that is that.

It's a tough spot. People will disagree with you no matter what you choose. This is where you decide what you believe, and why, and stick with it.

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

IMO, it's about honesty. If you are honest in that you aren't a traditional (insert tribe here) spiritual practitioner, and you are honest about the fact that you aren't practicing within anything but your own cultural context (whatever that may be) then I see no room for people to gripe. The main problems are the people who are not of a tribe, but claim to be of a tribe, and even present themselves as more of an authority than the people of the tribe themselves.

Personally, I really thought your shaman vs. shamanist essay for the anthology was a brilliant compromise, which is why I was so pleased to see it. Yes, it's good to be aware of where one treads, but in the end, who will lose out the most if you stop shamanizing? The very people that your shamanizing has helped and can help in the future. And you, for putting aside a very important part of yourself.

I'm cautious of the naysayers myself, but I'm also learning to filter what is said. I am aware of appropriation and my potential for it, but having explored the possibilities and realities, I find that in the end the chance of anyone mistaking me for Native is nowhere near as important as the tools that are given to help those who need me.

*hugs*

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Part of the reason I've not returned the edited version of the anthology submission is that I've been wrestling with this issue (plus some other issues related to this time of the year). I'll break it out and edit the thing based on your kind words.

You are right that there will also be naysayers. I am formulating an essay on the origins and motivations of some of these, and I'll probably put it in a generic light because they exist across many spiritual paths.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

LOL... the world would be a different place if the spirits were the ultimate deciders of human spiritual interactions/rules/hierarchies. It is an irony that the most elevated of people in a religious hierarchy are often the least connected with the ecstatic side of the spiritual experience.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Thank your kind and intropsective words. I especially liked your point about the influence of guilt on the interactions with the native groups. Something to think about...

[greensh.livejournal.com]

I don't think I will walk away. I have been gifted with native based traditions by a native teachers. These can be used with honesty and respect. My current angst ridden ponderings will in time better guide me in discerning my part in the shamanic world.

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

Yay :) That pleases me to no end!

One thing I've been working with a lot lately has been finding a good balance between listening to constructive criticism, and ignoring the naysayers--and knowing which is which. It's not always easy; I tend to give too much weight and power to the naysayers, and let my insecurities out a little too much.

This reminds me a lot of the essays on UPG I've seen bouncing around my f-list too.

I am glad you're not tossing in the towel. The world needs you *hugs*

[elegy-of-flames.livejournal.com]

Coming late to the party due to weekender, I've been meaning to reply to this since I saw it, but -

I would say there is a strong difference between appropriating the specific beliefs of a particular group versus adopting the overarching mold or pattern of a certain kind of belief structure; ie, calling yourself an 'acknowledged shaman of X tribe' as opposed to 'someone on a shamanic path' which if memory serves is the phrasing you favour.

The former would certainly imply that the individual is or ought to be legitimised by the appropriate 'guardians' of the tradition, the latter really should be open to anybody with a basic respect and willingness to learn. Tribes do have every reason to be protective of their ancestral rites, but to exclude any 'outsider' from them entirely seems ridiculous and hypocritical given that, to the best of my knowledge, Native American tribes don't even have sole claim to shamanism as a practice/belief structure.

That being said, how on earth do you walk away from a path that draws you so strongly? Even if you cease to practice it, can you really change what you believe and how you see and approach the world? And assuming you could is that something anybody has the right to ask of you?