Reminder to Self...

[kokopelle]

Don't confuse the lazy, ignorant or 'altruistic' self-serving actions of mankind for malicious evil.

Comments

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

I think sometimes people expect the worst of each other, and in addition take it very personally. I can be self-centered at times, but it's never meant as a slight against others, and certainly not as an attack. I just get caught up in myself and my interests at times and forget there are other people out there.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Why do you think people expect the worst of each other? Is this a simpler explanation than the alternatives?

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

I think it's because there's a subtle thread of "don't trust" pessimism woven into our society. We're often taught, through example and demonstration, that The Other Guy will screw you over whenever he can. So when something goes wrong we sometimes jump to the worst possible conclusion. It's like the old story (can't remember exactly which culture it came from, maybe Germany?):

Once in a village a large sum of money was stolen. A young boy was the main suspect, and everyone swore he walked, talked and acted like a thief. Then someone found the money which had been misplaced by its owner. From then on the boy walked, talked and acted just like any other child.

[madfedor.livejournal.com]

I believe that our (US) society does a great job teaching self-interest, and the worst job teaching generosity. This is based on growing up with large subcultures (Italian and Greek) who are just the opposite of the Me-generation stereotype.

Despite other deserved criticisms, I think that Roman Catholics also deserve to be counted a part of that opposition.

I grew up in southeastern PA, so I am at least to that extent biased.

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

Which I find kind of funny, because I was raised Roman Catholic. However, I thinkmy imprinting most definitely came from the fact that I was practically an only child--I had only one sister (Mom broke the rules on birth control) and she's 9 1/2 years older than I am--so by the time I was old enough to get around on my own she was out with her friends a lot, then got married when I was 10. And being the baby of the family I got some spoiling. It was good for me in some ways, but I've also have to learn not to be completely oblivious to the thoughts and feelings of others, simply because I was so used to the attention being on me (or simply being left alone for long periods of time).

[madfedor.livejournal.com]

Just in case: I should point out that I grew up amongst those subcultures, but not a member of them. We were the rare non-Christian family in the neighborhoods where we lived. When we attended anything, it was a Unitarian Universalist congregation.

The bias needs a bit of clarification: my mother and her Jewish family were literally saved by Italian peasants around the Asti region. Her gratitude knew no limits. Most of my Italian neighbors were first- and second-generation American, and there were more Italian accents than Philly accents in most crowds.

I didn't share my mother's bias, but I certainly understood it very well. If any culture can be seen to have a genetic trait of generosity, it's the Italians.