My Death Paradoxes (Part II?)

[kokopelle]

Movies I don't like:

Ones in which you know the 'good guys' will die or fail in the end.

My Dreaming Paradoxes:

I do lots of things alone (i.e. lunch), but constantly dream of crowds.

My death wish makes me think those who pass on are the lucky ones, but I fight to survive in my dreams.

I have some physical challenges in RL (knees, back), but I'm not hampered by these in my dreams.

Comments

[odyssey-spirit.livejournal.com]

I'm curious and new to your journal -- why the death wish?

And that's interesting, my dreams are filled with people but (almost?) never crowds. I think I've dreamed of audiences, though, since I love the thrill of prepared performing. Nothing paradoxical in my case.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Welcome... you'll find my journal is a mix of the absurd and some deeper thoughts. Comments and questions are welcomed.

I've dreamt of performing also. While I've never officially been on the stage (working the lights and props instead), I do believe that teaching is a form of performing.

The interesting thing to my group dreams is that I don't know most of the people from RL. We are part of a group, so it is not an impersonal crowd, and we have many adventures. I enjoy these dreams.

RE: dreams

[odyssey-spirit.livejournal.com]

Hey, really? My long-time Internet friend lucretiasheart has a suite of recurring non-RL and some RL characters as well, many of whom have specific dream-world names. She likewise has adventures involving them, good or bad. She believes the non-RL ones are representations of important psychological aspects of herself. You might enjoy browsing what's public of her "dreams" tag.

Following-up...

[odyssey-spirit.livejournal.com]

I found this: "Death is an integral part of the shamanic path. Death comes in many guises and functions. The shamanist is charged with both embracing and resisting the call of death. In its arms the shamanist finds their power and their calling. Perhaps, in the final analysis, death is why the shamanist exists at all."

Could you explain more the choice of the phrase "death wish", then? I expect physical death, but have no wish for it anytime soon, since I don't depend on a conscious afterlife. (Mental deaths, e.g. of illusion, are quite a different thing to me.) Thanks, I'm just curious.

Re: Following-up...

[greensh.livejournal.com]

That's a good question. The phrasing is personal and probably just a bit dramatic. It is really quite a mundane outcome of depression, the whole "I'd rather not be here" type thing. The upside is that I don't follow through and it has allowed me to contemplate some powerful things.

I find the striving for a 'conscious afterlife' to be a fascinating and disturbing topic. This is not my goal. I instead have the desire to leave where I am now. Indeed, the paradigms I work with say that I'd be at a disadvantage in the afterlife if I actively worked toward ending my life, even if the 'disadvantage' is redoing life's lessons all over again.

The last sentence of the quote, "death is why the shamanist exists at all", is better understood if the word 'transformation' or 'passings' replaces the word 'death'.

Re: Following-up...

[odyssey-spirit.livejournal.com]

Ahh, gotcha. That did clarify. =)

By the way, I don't know if you have email notifications turned on, so I thought I'd tell you now I've responded to a few of your other older posts.

Re: Following-up...

[greensh.livejournal.com]

LJ's email notifications only seem to work part of the time. I'm keeping an eye on my LJ home page to see responses!

Shadows

[apocalypsegrrl.livejournal.com]

I have some physical challenges in RL (knees, back), but I'm not hampered by these in my dreams.

I have the same paradox in my dreams- in fact, as child with tons of health problems, that lack of pain was how I knew when I was dreaming to begin with (that and not having glasses or braces in dreams). I've never technically had a lucid dream because there was such a sharp division for me between my waking life and dreaming life that a 'eureka! I'm dreaming' moment was never needed.

But I think the pink elephants and talking doughnuts and dancing skeletons helped some too.

Not that I'm a Jung expert, but I think dream paradoxes in general can partly be associated with shadow material. For me, I have a lot of dreams where I'm leading other people or taking charge of situations- IRL I run screaming from positions of responsibility.

I had an art teacher who said to our class once "People don't know what they like; they like what they know."- maybe your dream paradoxes don't stem so much from a literal death wish, but a small death of the ego's comfort zone- the daily routines that you or anyone else are comfortable with.

Re: Shadows

[greensh.livejournal.com]

*Not that I'm a Jung expert, but I think dream paradoxes in general can partly be associated with shadow material*

Very true! In reality I enjoy groups, especially when I can go into teacher mode. My isolation is largely a product of self-sabotage and remnants of worthiness issues. The rest of my isolation is chosen, perhaps because I am 'sensitive' and need space. Who knows? Good stuff to think about.

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

This is why I disliked 1984 so much--no hope for the future.