The Beauty Myth and Other Strident Arguments

[kokopelle]

Today I picked up the book “The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women” by Naomi Wolf. At first I was intrigued. I then became disturbed as I read the book over my dinner of Chinese buffet goodness.

Here are some quotes from chapter one:

“The beauty myth is not about women at all. It is about men’s institutions and institutional power”.

“The beauty myth is always about prescribing behavior and not appearance”.

“It is summoned out of political fear on the part of male-dominated institutions threatened by women’s freedom, and it exploits female guilt and apprehension about our liberation – latent fears that we might be going to far.

The book was published in 1991. I had just gotten out of college and was a fresh newbie in the work-a-day world. As a guy I did not get the memo that there was this vast conspiracy mounted against women via the beauty myth. But seriously, I found the ideas presented in the book to be strident and disturbing. The first chapter presented a counter-feminist movement that was only a few decades old. In Wolf’s story the patriarch seems to have realized that power was slipping and moved to detour women from power and crush the triumphant feminist movement. What has happened since 1991? I guess I’ll base on my opinions on what I see in the present day.

There are industries that embrace beauty as a driver. Some food serving establishments purposely look for the beautiful people. Typically young, the servers seem to be chosen for their look with their presence being part of the decoration as much as the interior decoration. These restaurants are not the norm though and there is not a lot of money here. It could be postulated that the youthfulness of the servers is based on their willingness to take small(er) money for their efforts. Other industries that purposely hire the beautiful person are in the business of selling things and services to other beautiful people. Hmmm, this could be a trait of those restaurants too!

Is the beauty myth alive and constricting where I work? I don’t see it. I’m sorry Naomi. In the world of larger $$$ the idea that men are maintaining the glass ceiling by using beauty does not seem to be a reality. While I’m out of most office rumor mills, I’m not aware of a secret society of men seeking to kill women’s gains in society. It is this nonconforming reality that informs my opinion.

Are there some seriously evil things afoot for women? Yes of course. Power does drive the patriarchal system to pull out the “gender card”. Hillary Clinton’s run in the United States presidential race will bear this out and probably in some very ugly ways. Before I start my own critique allow me reemphasize that I don’t believe Naomi is wrong in a larger sense. Bad stuff happens. So, I’ll admit that there are some real gender issues out there, but I still find Naomi’s book wrong in a very pointed way.

Consider the following statements:

They hate us, because we're free. (Remarks by the President at Connecticut Republican Committee Luncheon)

Meat is Murder (on the Environment) (NewScientist Environment)

Potter books open a doorway that put untold millions of kids into hell. (Wikipedia article on this with link to associated Chick Publications pamphlet)

In my mind the common link between these is that they make an incredibly polarized statement in support of a cause. Is there some truth to these statements? Yes. Are the statements completely true? No. Yet, the statements are made as a starting point or a main supporting foundation to a earnest argument. There are no prisoners taken. There are no honorable opponents. It disturbs me when people go this martial route in their extreme support of their causes.

Naomi is an earnest supporter of her beliefs. She also leaves the reader either full of righteous anger, humiliated angst, or bemused disconnection as she pursues what could be categorized as a political agenda instead of a generally embraced sociological reality. I will continue to read the book even though I suspect my bemused disconnection will continue.

For those who wish to learn more about the message and possible interpretations, a very insightful evaluation of Naomi's potentially slanted book can be found here.

Does anybody else have an opinion on either the book, the author, or this style of discourse?

Comments

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

I remember reading that book forever ago. It was interesting, in a between my fingers sort of way. What she fails to realize is that women can be our own worst enemies. I remember my grandmother trying to mold me into an 'attractive' young lady by getting me to quit doing things that were normal and enjoyable to me: like reading and acting intelligent. She also wanted me to stop wearing glasses and trousers and start wearing makeup and high heels and hose.

Phooey. I didn't want to land a man. I wanted my own life, so I played by my own rules. Still do. Result: I'm single, but probably happier than a lot of women who bought the bullshit. I don't care about my appearance. I look OK, but I do not take cues from the women's magazines because they're a load of crap, and their goal is to sell stuff to women. Keeping them unhappy and off balance is part of the whole scheme.

I'm not an angry feminist- I'm a human being who happens to be female, and more important- a human being with a surplus of intelligence. I think that's much more important than power over or appearance. I have power-within. That cannot be taken from me by men or women.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Your remarks make me see another common thread to the strident statements. They all scream, "YOU ARE A VICTIM". They then scream "PEOPLE/GROUP/PERSON X IS MAKING YOU A VICTIM". Jeez. This is a sad way to start a debate.

I love your statement that you are empowered. I needed to hear that for my own reasons. It's fine to dress up an argument with victims and aggressors, but this does not have to be the final reality in my life or anybody else's.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

Right now, I am struggling with my difficulty in believing that I am 'victim' enough to claim PTSD veterans benefits. They won't pay me any back-pay, but with the physical problems I have on top of the very obvious aftermath of some really harrowing experiences in the military, I could claim 'victim' and actually get something for it.

Yes, I was a victim. In some ways, I still am, because one letter to female veterans described me almost to a 'T' as far as the way I currently live my life. I call it the three "S's": Solitary, Suspicious, and Sharp.

The female veteran outreach is banging on the "victim" pot- telling me that I really need to enroll for services, but do I want to really restart the nightmares? Do I want to backslide into victimhood? Or shall I cut my losses, find and pay for counseling out of my own pocket, and continue my modest, but fairly successful life?

Considering the very nasty PTSD flare I had a couple of weeks ago, I am not sure I want to go there. I know what being a victim is really like, and I chose to put that behind me. Yes, the military made me a victim- several times over. I got out, walked away, and rarely look back.

So, now what? What does that make me? Not a victim.

A warrior, perhaps..?

[franciscan.livejournal.com]

Well said. When I was a social worker/therapist, I rarely if ever gave out a diagnosis to the women I worked with - for one major reason - once labeled by the system, always labeled by the system. And i is very difficult to heal when labeled.

On a side note though, the PTSD stuff may have a resolvable outcome. If you want to, e-mail me at karen@spiritdrum.org.

Blessings

PTSD -- why I have a flat spot in my forehead

[wulfwalker.livejournal.com]

You ARE a warrior. I am a warrior. It takes a great deal of courage to make the conscious, rational decision to volunteer to a path that may require you to endanger your life or take another’s’ life to protect yourself, your shipmates and your way of life.

I am also a disabled veteran with the diagnosis of PTSD due to sexual traumas. There are times, usually when I least expected, I get triggered and end up taking a short trip to my own "Crazyland". Still working on identifying those triggers, it could be a book, a picture, a scent, a sound, SOMETHING my PTSD filters perceived to be a threat. so brlieve me, you are not alone.

There came a time when I realized that my defenses, OCD and isolationism was no longer working, I finally sought and received help from a wonderful female psychiatric social worker (who I am still seeing). I have been, for the last 10 years, fighting the VA system. When I decided to "embrace" the diagnosis of PTSD. I started filing with both the VA and Social Security. To my surprise, social security found in my favor, while the VA denied my claim. But I persevered and continued to file claims and appeals, submitting to their evaluations, submitted to their tests and finally, two months ago won my fight. I did not win the war, but hopefully my tenacity and refusal to accept the ruling "while we concur with the diagnosis of PTSD due to sexual trauma, with: hypervigilence, night terrors, flashbacks, memory loss, depression and insomnia, there is no evidence to support that sexual trauma and it’s affects are/were service connected.... review of your master military service/health record reveals no documentary evidence supporting your claim.”

It is hard to seek help when we teach ourselves to “trust no one” and/or that showing emotions are weaknesses, but I will tell you that I do not regard myself as a victim so much as someone who was victimized by a system developed by men, protective of men, and geared to men, who regarded me as a necessary evil or a convenient outlet for their inappropriate and unwanted sexual comments, touching, gifts, threats, and assaults. I could not bring my attackers to justice, justice that I was promised that was supposed to protect me as a person, not just as a woman, but also as a member of the armed forces of the US. Since that was denied to me I seek the validation and the acknowledgment that I was RIGHT. This is the only avenue of Justice that is available to me, I will not seek vengeance, so I will accept my VA disability check for I cannot hold a job, and I will collect my social security benefits for I have earned them. If male veterans can collect PTSD benefits based solely on where they were stationed and not what they did, YOU are entitled to collect for your PTSD also. (On a side note…did you know a guy vet can get disability for HAVING DIFFICULTY getting a hard on, regardless of what the cause is or was, and get viagra or cialis to treat it…but the VA formulary only stocks one birth control pill, and one hormone pill for women….many VA hospitals to this day do not have an OB/GYN or any form of “women’s clinic”.
Please if you would like, side note me, I would be happy to listen, and if I can help you process your claim in any way I would be honored. my personal email is wulfwalker@charter.net.

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

I've experienced this "glass ceiling" first hand. I didn't believe it, until I got in the work force. It mostly has to do with who's in charge. For example, my former co-worker was always there whenever Corporate called and needed something done. I was ALWAYS off when it happened. Every time I would pick up the phone, they'd make up some kind of excuse about calling later. *shrugs* But then I've also seen this reverse discrimination because I'm female and everybody wants me in the company. For example, one of the jobs I went for skipped the phone interview and had me go right to the face-to-face interview. I haven't been able to land anything thus far because I seem to not interview well.

I choose not to be a victim of all this discrimination go. There's enough on the internet as it is. The whole "females don't exist on the internet" in forums and games *shrug* I just roll with it. With a select few I actually decide to jump in Vent and be one. I didn't want to go into voice chat for a long time because of that.

Me? I believe this beauty myth, but I think we're getting farther from it (at least in America). More than half of the nation is "overweight", so the reports say. I don't wear make-up except for when I'm on stage, or to cover up the occasional pimple. I don't wear heals, except when I want to. I wear the appropriate garb for climbing under tables and pulling wires.

I think I'm kinda numb to the whole thing, honestly. Sometimes I get righteously indignant for other people's sake, but it's never for me. I was told things like "fat", "ugly", among many other less than satisfactory words when I was younger. They slide off like water now; although, every once in a while, it does set me off (but only in my private little place).

I think it has a lot to do with who your relatives are, who you are around, where you are, and many other kinds of things.

-That rambles a bit. I don't know about the author or the book-

[greensh.livejournal.com]

I'll admit there are glass ceilings. The gender ceiling is one. There is also the race ceiling, the correct school ceiling, the correct socializing skills ceiling, the correct (or lack of) morals ceiling, and so on. It sucks when any of these prevent competent people from going further in their workplace.

In my company and at my work location there have been tremendous strides made against all these ceilings. The only one not breached yet is a woman working in the Maintenance department as one of the mechanics. I think this is sad, but perhaps it is just a function of the available labor pool. I'm probably making excuses for a sad situation though. Maybe this too will change in time.

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

Maintenance? What kind of maintenance? This goes into the "can she do it?" category.

If a woman wants to be a fireman (as an example), she better damn well be able to lift whatever the man is supposed to, because hell if I want her climbing up the ladder to carry my mate down. If she can't do it, she shouldn't be one. Same with any other man who can't lift that weight. They don't have weight classes for firemen.

I have a problem with occupations lowering their standards just for the sake of "quota". I'm sorry if I come off as harsh, but that's how I truly feel.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Building maintenance. Fixing stuff, installing stuff, and so on. This can include some heavy and dirty work. I stick by my belief that the lack of both gender mostly reflects the existing possible job pool.

[elnigma.livejournal.com]

Its been too long ago I skimmed that book, but I think its appropriate to note I was told once to my face I gave a "great interview" and "seemed terrific, and qualified" but then said "you need to get your nails done".
I was a little startled by this.
This was for an IT position, my nails were clean but short, the interviewer had long fake nails that were obviously worked on regularly. My interviewer, she wasn't an IT person but in the HR department of the company, so didn't spend much time each day typing on a keyboard.

I think there aren't many women who haven't faced some kind of discrimination for being female, like people who won't hire those whom they think "might get pregnant", etc.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

Discrimination comes in many forms. It is most saddening and maddening when the discrimination is so transparent.

What is your opinion on age becoming the hottest discrimination angle? I suspect it has always been an issue, but now the boomers are reaching those ages where 'big business' gives them a cold shoulder.

[elnigma.livejournal.com]

My opinion is that they have good reason to gripe. Like a woman who is pregnant (or those who have people thinking they might get pregnant), anyone 50 and up has a serious disadvantage getting a new job. Companies don't want to pay higher medical insurance. Worse, they look at people older in age and don't want them retiring with their company.

Another kind of game I've seen - I used to work at a company that had everybody put in for shared company stock. You weren't allowed to actually sell or really "keep" or transfer the stock until you'd been in the company 10 years - if you leave at all you lose it. As a habit, this company acts average to their employees for nine years then does their utmost to make you quit- relocations, doubling up a person's responsibilities without giving them a raise, etc.