Wants and Needs - Some Thoughts

[kokopelle]

Yesterday I wrote about being needed and the feelings that surrounded it. One of my wonderfully astute LJ friends pointed out the difference between wants and needs. She suggested that needs can be compulsive and wants can be pleasurable. This is a more-so statement, as there are exceptions to this thought.

When I think about wants vs. needs I am reminded of the way of differentiating priorities in life. When offered a series of choices, the responsible person is supposed to choose what they need vs. what they purely want. A person needs nutrition to survive and a person wants a steak. A person needs shelter and a person wants to live in a penthouse. Needs tend to pull rank on wants. Ok... guidelines for living.

I next considered needing to be with somebody vs. wanting to be with somebody. There are some people I very much want to be with, but life is not arranged for such now. Still, it can be touching to the other person to know that preference is there. I personally don't get the same warm feeling from needing to be with somebody. I've always considered the needing to be with somebody to be creepy. There are love songs/ballads geared towards NEEDING to be with a person, and these sound like recipes for stalking to my ears. The entire "I want to spend every minute with you because you are my everything and I NEED you" type song is just plain scary to me. Where is the restraining order? However, there enough people who identify with the need thing that songs like this are still written. But that's just me...

Comments

Confusing components of need/want

[chimerae.livejournal.com]

Multiple axis of experience --

Might physically NEED nutrition but psychologically NEED permission/approval/freedom that gets translated as cookies instead of cauliflower. Physically NEED nutrition but psychosocially NEED inclusion/belonging/???

Need is also tricky, the body adapts so "NEED" can just be NEED ENERGY which translates into sugar/caffeen when a nap/meditation would be better

Love as need comes from parent/child and myers briggs orientation(s) It's always funny watching the kittens over at Ross's house -- there's always one in every litter who's a loner.

Re: Confusing components of need/want

[greensh.livejournal.com]

So those are not songs about stalking and creepy obsession? Maybe I am that one kitten.

(smile)

Question... does this rule me out as being a counselor, or does it just make me a better counselor for other loners?

Also, one of the things I like about the series "Ghost in the Machine" is the presentation that our memories/perceptions (triggering psychology) largely define how we view the world. see these as operations very akin to pattern matching. The psychology/physiology of need then plugs itself into the presented matrix.

Re: Confusing components of need/want

[chimerae.livejournal.com]

One of my best shamanic counselors told me that the thing was that people who are disassociated need to become associated and those who are over associated need to become more disassociated.

So . . . it's all about who really needs what you have and how to get it to them?

Re: Confusing components of need/want

[greensh.livejournal.com]

The punchline is that I need to not be here. I need to have this life journey be over with. Oh wait... that is a want. Sorry... I got confused.

I am finding myself with fewer and fewer "needs". This is kinda scary really. I am forgetting how to enjoy my life through the more pleasurable needs that I used to have.