kokopelle | Being in Love

In a previous journal entry I asked readers about the topic of being in love. I've pondered this more and would like to share. For me the state of "being in love" is one step above "being in lust". IMO the admiration of the the later can be an almost constant state when in the presence of beauty. Better behaved people exist in this state without stepping out of bounds. Beauty excites, we wish to possess some part of it, and life moves on. The "being in love" does not have this decorum. Songs are written about the irrational, unthinking and driven state of being in love. The flip side of the "I'll be with you forever" song is the "I'll stalk you until you're mine (or you're dead)" song. Some people enjoy these songs. They see the charm and romance. I see the something else.

This could explain why I can only remember / feel / intuit being in love a number of times you can count on one hand. While I am capable of loving, and more than able of being in lust, I seem to resist being in love. It is an aberration in my life, something is that is far from the norm. I wonder if this is normal and healthy. I suspect committed monogamous relationships are benefited by a sense of being in love. I also sense the that a person who is in a serial state of being in love would find it very difficult to settle into a health(ier) committed relationship.

Why do I resist? Perhaps I overly indulge the being in lust side of life. There is evidence that this too prevalent in my life. Am I too busy being in lust to find the time to be in love? Am I weak, strong, or just human in my foibles? This being in love thing is kicking my butt. The new and unfamiliar things usually do.