No Monopoloy on Selfishness

[kokopelle]

A LJ friend wrote about the presence of sadist people in my their life. I said that I only really relate to masochism. I reflected on the difference. My knee-jerk was that sadists (who I don't fully understand) are more narcissistic. Wikipedia defines narcissism as "generalized personality trait characterized by egotism, vanity, conceit or selfishness". This does not ring true with my theory. People who direct pain outward (sadists) are not more conceitful than people who seek to receive pain (masochists). They are not more vain or selfish either. So, what is the difference, other than the direction of the inflicted pain or emotional abuse?

Comments

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

It's hard to say. There are those who reserve their sadism/masochism for parts of their lives where they are desirable (often in friendships and relationships), while others forcibly inflict them on those who do not want it.

Some of the sadists I know are arrogant, but I see this same feature in masochists that I know. I can't identify an overwhelming majority in either category. It is curious, though.

[greensh.livejournal.com]

I had some other thought about my friend's posting. They had encountered sadists in their relationships, a number of them. An attraction or affinity? Perhaps. If that is the case, and sadism is an affinity, than saying "I kept encountering sadists" could be like saying "I kept encountering red-heads". I would probably do well with a cooperative and safe sadist, just as I delight in red-heads.

[valkyriur.livejournal.com]

A kind of "opposites attract" or "like attracts like", perhaps? We often see this in relationships...or we think we see it. :)