Flexing the Norms and Tattoos

[kokopelle]

A talk with a friend brought an interesting topic to mind. They were getting a tattoo, but just one. They said that they wanted the flexibility to be themselves and getting more tattoos would put a damper on that expression. I related a lot, and after some consideration I can share my thoughts.

I don't have any tattoos. Is it because I am terribly conventional and don't want to step outside of a rigid box? The answer is no. Believe it or not, am not pursuing tattoos because I want freedom to not be rigidly conventional.

Before I go any further with this I want to be clear that I don't condemn tattoos. They are quite cool and people should get them if they want. They are just not for me.

OK, back to the freedom thing. I believe that norms are anything but rigid. Norms are there to be tested. The words of Mark Daniel Snyder in the article “The Quiet Clash Between Transgender Women And Drag Queens” really speak to how I feel about the flexibility of norms. Mark enjoys playing with gender norms.

“I enjoy messing with gender norms. I enjoy the wide range of gender diversity and expression. Snyder says, “I’m able to see the world of gender in more color almost. I view gender as a galaxy and all the stars, and it’s so expansive and diverse, and I’m just one little star in there.” -- Mark Daniel Snyder

In my own way I enjoy messing with norms. Sometimes I comply with the expected norms. Other times I have people scratching their heads. My excuse could be that I have an artistic streak, but there could be more. I am an explorer, and we are on a group journey.

Tattoos make an incredible statement, but that statement is forever. I feel that the permanency of a tattoo restricts ongoing expansiveness and diversity of expression. We are here to explore life. This exploration is more than just visiting countries and seeking exotic sites. There are inner landscapes to explore. These landscapes map to our relations with others, and in these relations we see the galaxies and stars that Snyder mentions.

Comments

[oceans_voice]

I love tattoos. On other people. I think they would look odd on me. But I love how they look.

[kokopelle]

And why do you think they would look odd on you, but they are fabo on others?

[oceans_voice]

Aesthetically I think they look good on some body types, shapes, colors, etc and I do not think that mine fits. Its like a work of art. My canvas, IMO, is not suitable.

[kokopelle]

This, objectively, I find hard to believe. I cannot imagine that your canvas is any different from all the body types that make tattoos look good. There is some part of your that is perfect for a tattoo.

To share an story that points out this concept... I've been with partners that are not the perfect model of beauty. I've also found that to a person, during the throes of intimacy, there is some part of them that is as beautiful as the entirety of the supposed super model. That part may be the curve of their throat, their lips, or so on. The key to being in this space is to be CLOSE to the person. The big picture vanishes. I think you are looking at the big picture of tattoos, and comparing other big body type pictures to your body type picture. Look closer at your body type. There is a part of you that would be fully complimented with the right tattoo. Your body is as ready for tattoos if your mind and heart are also ready.

[oceans_voice]

Well I think it has more to do with my own self image. I have gained a lot of weight over the years and I think that I would look bad with a tattoo because I feel fat. And then I also have this image of perfection and its like my perfect canvas would then be marred with art. Not to say I am perfect. I have perfection issues. I would also never be able to take it off without a lot of money. And would it be something I would want forever? I also pass out when I get more than one shot. SO that is something else to consider.

[kokopelle]

Ah! You've entered into thoughts that mirror my own. Great minds think alike.

[oceans_voice]

:) that they do

[oceans_voice]

All of the points I made? :)

[kokopelle]

I think so!