kokopelle | Entries tagged with discussion

The poem “Parley’s Best” was inspired by a friend’s social posting. They expressed regret that conversations were not satisfactory. The shortcomings included judgments or one-upmanships by the listeners. I honor that opening oneself up at all is a hurdle by itself. I will strive to embrace the sentiments of the poem when I interact with my friends.

Parley’s Best

Conversation is what I crave
as I pull back the curtain on the stage
of this life shown in trust’s regret
hoping you will hear with grace
when past ears have let down
my questing heart seeking relief
with hostile feedback given thus
was not what I needed at the time.

I don’t lead the same life
I’m not a mirror to principles
handed down by your kin
upheld by your holy books
my beliefs are still heartfelt
righting them is not my demand
please take the edicts out of play
consider the common as apropos.

Hardships shared are challenges
a lifetime aligned to strike me down
are not grist for you to state
the betterment your life’s distress
no competition is implied
between your demons and those of mine
when I share the impish beasts
on the shelf for you to see.

Meager delights are my fare
in this struggled show of a life
I’d like for you to know
the eccentric course of my own
pleasures were mine to have
to each their own is my motto
do not look to show best my joy
with prideful boasting of your own.

Validation is what I seek
acknowledgment of this fragile doll
victor of a thousand wins
loser of so many more
brave enough to step on the stage
spotlight on the good and bad
brave actor sharing my part
wishing for this parley’s best.

© 2016, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved, 20160724.

There are some big societal discussions going on in the blogosphere right now. The topics are BIG. They are a combination of million person trends and person anecdotal sharings. Lots of people have something to say. Their intended audience is somewhere between the million people and the person sitting next to them. The topic of the discussion, when it is healthy, ultimately has a request submitted to the target audience. I’ll categorize this as the “incoming request”. Frankly, I find such discussions to be challenging, but I am coping by applying some personal guidelines that I would like to share.

• Sometimes a discussion does not apply to you at all. The hallmark of this is that you will have zero emotional reaction. Consider if the incoming request applies to you. If not, cool, move on with your life.

• Sometimes a discussion does apply to you, but you aren’t fully aware of it. The hallmark of this is that you will have a strong emotional reaction. The reaction may be defensive: full of blustering explanations and “but what about X” retorts. There is a wonderful opportunity here! Listen to the incoming request. Attempt to honor it. At the same time be really honest with yourself. Your emotional reaction is a red flag something should be done.

• Sometimes the discussion does apply to you and you are fully aware of it. The hallmark of this is that you will have little defensive emotional reaction. You may feel regret at past deeds, or sadness for the part that your large group plays in the grievance, but this is the healthy empathetic reaction. You are probably complying with the incoming request. Don’t be angry that you are being asked again. Know that the incoming request is for a larger group, and you are already on board. Keep on doing what you’re doing.

Your emotional reaction is the key. Remember, defensiveness is a red flag. It may be that the incoming request is unreasonable, and there are fair grounds to agree to disagree, but the big societal discussions almost always have some truth at their heart. This separates personal discussions from the big discussions with big truths. This big truth drives the larger emotion of the discussion, and your own emotion should reveal the truth of your place in the discussion.

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Journey to Ixtlan

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Entries tagged with discussion

Poem - Parley’s Best

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April 2020

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