Journey to Ixtlan

The poem “Alter Boys” was written for an online poetry competition. For the record I don’t believe the triangles are coming for me, nor do I believe that they are welded by alter boys. The blue circles and the squirrels, well, that’s another story.


Alter Boys

Reality is the ship that’s sailed
to far horizon beyond my reach
leaving me here to find my way
with signposts only I can see
now I’m left here on the beach
the triangles are the altar boys
with men who seek my life
coming when the shades are drawn.

Agendas sprung from fertile soil
all the eyes are turned my way
signals sent that only I hear
to the radio in my brain
asking me to bend my knee
foreign agents with tall hats
why do they ask for my help?

Watched by eyes that do not blink
followed by the cameras’ lens
I’m never alone to find some peace
when they are in the distant rooms
pointing lights that I only perceive
blinding me in the darkest holes
stones I throw are not the cure.

Paranoia is my nearest friend
only it will not betray
when my friends whisper lies
point at me with talons long
family seeks to control
awareness earned by my blood
I’ll control their minds some day
when I shake these silver chains.

The shared reality is no more
replaced with glimpses of Hell’s domain
where I am the sole resident
in dormitories where I scream
perhaps you’ll visit if you find
your way through the twisted maze
past the triangles held in the arms
of alter boys with kind smiles.

2016, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved, 20161218.

In response to a blog about the shamanist/Shaman and their relation to 'mental illness', the_mad_elf said:

*Based on reading I've done on the subject an there's important distinction between a Shamanic practitioner and a person who suffers from a mental illness. The Shaman chooses to enter non-ordinary space and volunteers to interact with things which are not detectable to most people. He/she makes a choice. A person suffering from a mental disorder does not make a choice about what they see/hear and, often, how they react/interact with what they sense.*

This feedback touches on a dilemma common to many spiritual paths. the_mad_elf is correct by textbook definitions. There is another reality though.

To begin with, let me say that there such a thing as debilitating mental illness. This New York Times article is a window into that world. There are many factors - chemical, emotional, genetic and so on. I cannot speak to these. They are not to be taken lightly. I am NOT saying that all shamanists are potentially mentally ill, nor am I saying that all mentally ill people have shamanic potential. Instead, I will be generally speaking of those ecstatic or transcendental states that are either misinterpreted as illness or share clinical traits of mental illness.

I'll also say that the material here is BIG. There are enough nuances to fill a book, but I'm up for a challenge. I know my readers are also.

( Read more... )

The differentiation between spiritual connection and mental disconnection can be a fine line. One person's "mental illness" is another person's power. the_mad_elf's original element of choice may be blurred. Can a person live with the voices or do they just want them to stop? Is there a support structure for the person entering a space of greater spiritual awareness? Additionally, the society will have it's own arbitration on the state of the person's mental health. Even in society, the definition of mental illness is a fuzzy area. The shamanic experience can be quite demanding. People may very much want to close the doorways to new vistas. Only the individual can make this decision. After a choice is made between Spirit and the shamanist, the blurred line of vision and 'madness' begins.