kokopelle | Entries tagged with label

Sometimes, when we are really honest, we have to take on outsider labels. These are the labels tag us as being outside of a larger social group. Labels can can terribly helpful in connecting people, but outsider labels are divisive when we relate to that larger social group. Self-application of outsider labels can torture a person as they experience self-imposed isolation from a larger social group.

Why have labels at all? Societal labels allow like-minded people to be grouped together. The labels be self-applied or assigned by outside parties. I can call myself a contra dancer and a reader of my writing can say that I seem to be Liberal. I'm tucked into neat labeled boxes. These labels are pretty safe. I am still part of the larger group. People around me use labels to determine my place in the group.

Outsider labels have the same function as regular societal labels, but their impact on the individual can be dramatic. A label is characterized as the outsider type when the larger social group does not respond well to the label. The larger social group reacts with a range of emotions ranging from discomfort to extreme fear. An example of discomfort would be “cult member” for a person who belongs to a religious group outside of the larger social group. An example of extreme fear would be the reaction to the label of “murderer”.

Where am I taking this? I thought about this topic when a friend said that they did not feel comfortable labeling themselves with an outsider label. They acknowledged that using the label would align themselves with others that felt the same way. They also regretted that the label was of the outsider variety, and it felt like they were acknowledging being infected with a disease. Powerful stuff! The use of outsider labels is a two-edged sword that cuts both ways.

My friend offered a solution that I approve of! This solution works for me. I, like most people, have my share of outsider labels. I'd rather not share them with the larger group because these outsider labels would solicit negative responses. Am I wrong or deviant? No, but the larger group would not appreciate my differential. I am a member of the larger group, and my friend's solution works for the person with the outsider label and the larger social group.

My friend said that the individual should not assign outsider labels to themselves. They were going to skip self-assignment of outsider labels and just live their life. I was inspired by their words and want to share them. My friend said “I wear myself out thinking about it so I would just rather be me and not worry about what to call myself.” Does this stop others from putting outsider labels on my friend, or other people putting outsider labels on me? No, others will still label us. My friend's insight is that we can stop torturing ourselves with labels that do not directly help us.

What happens when we skip putting outsider labels on ourselves? We will live ourselves in a satisfying way and others may be no more the wise to our outsider ways. What can we do when others do move to slap us with an outsider label? That is another topic, and I will have to ponder that for a bit before answering!

Current Mood: contemplative

I recently saw an excellent video blog in which the blogger announced they identified themselves as a person with certain beliefs, and by that extension, a member of a larger movement. They gave themselves a label. This got me thinking. I did a search on Google and found a saying attributed to Phillip Pullman, “People are too complicated to have simple labels”. I find this to be true, and at the same time, I find the reverse to be just as true.

The response to the video blogger was both slightly supporting and VERY adversarial. The animosity directed at the blogger was not about them as a simple person, a person with their own set of experiences and beliefs. The animosity was about the larger movement that the person's personal label referenced. The animosity was about the facts that the blogger presented in their commentary. I suspect many of the detractors would have said, “Good for you for bringing this up, and sharing your stuff, BUT here is how I see the big picture”.

People have their own experiences. The video blogger did share a personal experience that connected her to the label. It was forceful, powerful, and at its heart, intensely anecdotal. It was simple and truthful for the blogger. In contrast, a label's movement, and the swirl of “facts” associated with the narrative of the movement, are part of a larger group dynamic, a very complicated label.

The blogger's commentary was a mixture of personal message and their own $.02 into the maelstrom that is the larger label. They respectively took their lumps as people opined on the video blog, but I feel that sometimes group lost sight that an individual was speaking, and doing so with their personal story and perspective. We bloggers are not the complicated labels.

Out of all of this I have my own bit of labeled insight to share: People are too simple and incredibly complex to have complicated labels.

Current Mood: contemplative

I recently saw an article that listed the call-signs of being a highly sensitive person (HSP). I’ve seen this kind of evaluation before. I appreciate evaluations, but I am also wary of them. Popular evaluations almost always make explain away our faults while making us feel special. I believe that this does us a disfavor as the message of such evaluations feeds the ego and not the soul. Why??? These evaluations are based on groups, and our soul is uniquely our own.

My birthday is June 20th, very near the Summer Solstice. In the past a friend of mine remarked, "oh, you must be a person with qualities of X (I can't remember what those qualities were) because of the time of year you were born." Let’s suppose I am "special" because of my birthday. I can probably find a book that explains why it’s so. But is that really why I am special? We are all special in some way. We have talents, hang-ups, abilities and liabilities. It’s nice to have a story to explain why I am special. Beware! Evaluation based stories are group based, and they merely feed the ego as we become the hero of our own story. Our special abilities are glorified and our faults are explained away.

I say these stories are just labels. Labels tell us where we are good and bad. They accentuate the good and excuse the bad. They empower the good, and where necessary, permit the bad because “it is all in the script of the story”. The sweeping generalizations of the labels can become as dogmatic as the sweeping generalizations and expectations of organized religion or politics. We are told something like “You will always have a quick temper because you have red hair”. Bolderdash. Our souls deserve better.

It is OK to have labels. It is OK to label oneself as an introvert or a highly sensitive person. The catch is that a label is only a reference, not us. To be more clear, a label, such as highly sensitive person, is the map and not the journey. Life is not lived through labels. Our soul is not a label. Life is about much more. Labels are merely a tool and not the outcome of our existence. Just as the map is not to be confused with the journey, the labels of specialness are not to be confused with the true potential of our lives.

Current Mood: contemplative

People’s use of names has always fascinated me. I first encountered this during the 90s when I was part of the BBS (Bulletin Board System) scene. I ran a general/adult board in Columbus GA. As part of the “in crowd” I knew a lot of the users and attended parties with fellow sysops. It was in this environment that I first ran into the “alias” game. It was reasonable for people to use their bbs handle on the BBS. The weirdness happened when people insisted on being called by their bbs handle all the time, or at the least, in situations where the BBS culture reigned.

Flash-forward about six years. I got involved with the pagan community. There people use "craft names" to convey their identities. Joan Smith became "Shadow Fox Pixie" and so on. The foundational reasoning for this was very similar to that of the bbs handle. People did not want to reveal their “true” or mundane identities when their lifestyle/behavior/spirituality/etc. would not be appreciated by a wider world. This is cool. The weirdness, once again, was that people seemed to become fixated on these alter-egos.

Two things came from this fixation. The first is that some people were never known by their mundane names. They were always "Lady Blue Moon Beam" or "Lord Shadow Raven". Did they have lives outside of the pagan gatherings? Who knows? The other wrinkle was the pomp and circumstance that some people took on with their alter-egos. In the BBS world Joe Smith would become "Laser Rage". In the pagan world people would take on the names of semi-deities and such. Here in the south-east of the United States, there is a large percentage (it seems!) of women who embrace the name "Rhiannon". The proto-celtic meaning of the word is "great queen". This is an excellent intention for a name, but the apparent prevalence begs the question, can everyone who has the name be a great queen?

So why do people do this? The "Rhiannon phenomenon" may answer part of this riddle. The pragmatic reason to assume an alias is to protect another identity from being outed. This could be done with the application of other mundane names. The professional "John Smith" could easily use then name "Bob Grant" when attending a pagan gathering. They don't though! The bbs handle and craft name share the purpose of empowering the person using the alternative name. To continue using our "John Smith", it would be disempowering for his craft name to be "Flatulent Toad". Instead John would choose a name that speaks to a higher goal. He may call himself "Crimson Dragon" instead. Another wrinkle in the pagan world is the use of titles. It is "Lord" this and "Lady" that. The pragmatic use of these titles is to indicate who has X amount of training and degrees. The title empowers the user while conveying their level of seniority/training. The titles also play up to the individuals egos in "empowering" ways, sometimes to the chagrin of their subordinates!

Aliases can be useful for wide group associations. I know of pagans who have used the same craft name for years. They interact with many groups in the pagan world while wearing the alias. For example, In the southeastern United States, if you say "Owl" a good number of pagans will know exactly who you speak of. The group factor sets up interaction dynamics. Some groups are very friendly and safe. Other groups are just known to be pagan. The wider the circle, the more pragmatic the use of the alias becomes. When the group is personal or intimate, the use of the alias becomes grandiose and gaudy. Here's an example. Let's say Jack Smith is the head of a company. It is reasonable for outsiders to call him "President Smith" during introductions. There are those in his company who rightly call him "Mr. Smith". His close friends and direct reports call him "Jack". His kids call him "Dad" and his wife calls him "Poopsie". It is not reasonable for Jack to expect his wife to call him "President Jack Smith" and it is not respectful for his subordinates to call him "Poopsie". BBS handles, craft names, and aliases in general have a proper time and place for their use.

The labels of father, minister, witch, shaman, magnus, psychic, etc. are also an alias. The label is worn to identify the person to the larger group and empower the person individually. The label, like an alias, does not mean the same thing to all people. It is not reasonable to expect this. The label also does not give the wearer the right or expectation for equal usage across all groups. Sometimes a label or alias becomes more of a burden than a advantage. "Minister Smith" must do no wrong and "Psychic Smith" must know all.

Here's the IMO part of the article. I personally stay away from labels and aliases. I use one on LJ and MySpace for the pragmatic purpose of "protecting" my work-a-day identity. I work with some wonderful guys and gals. Most are heavily Christian. All of them know I am different, but it would not be beneficial to me for them to know HOW different I am. I use my mundane name at pagan gatherings. I will use that name when/if I meet any of you personally. This is my thing. IMO there are as many traps to using an alias or label as there are benefits. Some people may need the assurance that a "Lord This" or "Lady That" may give them. Some functional labels of "Minister Who" and "Shaman Her" are completely appropriate to identify abilities and responsibilities. This is all fine, but I would like to meet people who don't mind stepping forward and saying, "my name is Jane, John, Jack or Jacky".

$.02 (clink clunk plunk)
so says the Nerd God... (smile)