Panic Attack

[kokopelle]

This past weekend I got to experience something new. I had a full blown panic attack that led me to cancel out of a weekend event. I'm used to low level anxiety, but this was different. Why? Whenever I thought about attending the event I got the answer “no no no”. The kinda good news is that the intuitive answer was also no, but the emotions were so strong that I have to take the intuitive with a grain of salt.

Going forward is not easy. It is as if I am feeling aftershocks of the anxiety attack. Combined with something else in my life, the impact of the weekend is leaving me feeling drained. Creativity is sapped. There is a secondary fear. I gave my aplogies to group and told them that I could not attend. I left the impression that something was going on other than my emotional reaction to the group. I hope this plays out in this manner... cause, I don't want to back away from the group as a whole. Hopefully time will heal this.

Comments

[kokopelle]

Translation... instead of just wanting to die (normal), now I want to crawl into a corner and die. Joy.

[oceans_voice]

Hugs to you. Panic attacks are no fun. I suffer with them from time to time, as you know. They are very frightening as you feel totally out of control and like you are going to faint and your heart is going to explode and it doesn't seem like panic. It seems like hypoglycemia or low blood volume or some other medically related issue. I know its scary.

[kokopelle]

Mine did not have a strong physical element. It was mostly mental / emotionally. Still very unpleasant and quite scary to my lovely spouse.