Journey to Ixtlan

The poem “Relation’s Game” is about shyness and so much more.


Relation’s Game

Nervous as the day before
the same again without pause
I wonder why this should be
stumbling when confronting this
attraction's bliss at the least
or something more I can't admit

except to say that jealousy
impacts the image I may see
relating comes with conflict
of the feelings that make me mute
wishing to draw ever near
while running away in quiet fear

in the end I'll maintain
a safe distance to comprehend
what can’t be while the angst
steals me from relation’s game.

© 2019. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20190314.

A dear and talented songwriter friend began a blog entry with the sentence “I'm like a passionate and restless lover in pursuit of the next beautiful, alluring song”. They went on to describe their search that forever reset when accomplished. These thoughts inspired me to write “Next Perfect Lover”.


Next Perfect Lover

I search for my next perfect lover
as good as the ones that came before
so restless to find the one
I’m passionate in my varied wants
I’ve searched longer than I’ll admit
longing for the crass and for the pure
only residing in my mind
a combination that will slip away

I’ve pursued the lesser ones
put them aside after sampling the goods
when the shine rubbed off to reveal
none of the raw I longed to find below
I seem to be a broken one
longing for the same to match a set
in reality I just desire
a soul still good yet imbued to my world.

I stand here in your midst
surrounded by polite society
looking for the will-o-wisp
phantom of the dreams dark enough to please
lacking the crude I so desire
good people are the norm realized
while this is good enough for most
there is that something that I cannot resist

I’m looking the missing piece
that part that fits deep within body’s cleft
when found it will full complete
a void too large in the body and the heart
I’ll welcome the them with open arms
these I have when gaps exist that need their love
grant them admittance in the now
dual citizenship on this island of myself

I’ll find another lover
still asking for more than I will ever find
so sad I long for what could be
this fantasy possessing my every thought
the guttural fills my head
enveloping them in my lustful needs
I’ll find my next perfect lover
a combination that will slip away.

2016, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved, 20161113.

People come into our lives with unexpected results. The outcomes aren’t known, but the current journey brings a breath of fresh air.


In Front of Me

The trails had turned me around
lost in the maze of life
when the exit was revealed.

The world had gone dark
in the shadows where I walked
there I finally saw the light.

The leaves have fallen down
covering the distant fields
when the greenery bud anew.

I wasn’t looking but I found
the one in front of me
when the search was given up.

Flower in the driven snow
beauty found in the blight
I welcome you into my life.

© 2016, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved, 20160707.

I don't think I'll figure out relationships.  I mean those of all types...  and I suspect it is half my stuff and the other half a lack of references.  I don't know what they've been through or how they communicate with others.  I just have my hangups and the way I've done things.  The end result is that I struggle to relate to other.